Let's face it: If you live in the US, the coming year promises to be a major shift. Each year carries the potential to carry great change, but this one especially. With political tensions and polarization at an all time high, throwing in the awakening of class consciousness and eyes on the mental health crisis of our younger generations, it's feeling as though we are at an ultimatum with one another. We have a lot of systemic issues to fix, quickly, and none of them will see completion until we can learn to band together in a much more meaningful way.
For me, it's never felt more obvious that individualistic ways of living just aren't cutting it anymore. I know I've written about it many times before, but it's an affirmation I keep coming back to. We need each other now. Obvious as the statement may be, it's much easier said than done, even when I care so deeply about it. I have to think about how often I demonize people who disagree with me. I have to accept that there is a large part of this country, this world, who lives a completely different life than I do - something that will inhibit us from ever relating to one another. But does that mean we shouldn't try to find common ground? Does that mean we're doomed to band together in any meaningful way?
I hope not. Especially on the crux of this pivotal, critical new year, I really hope not. There are so many thoughts and practices I'm aiming to keep at the forefront of my mind as I continue to do the work of creating true community, and one of those is to continue sharing what has been helpful and inspiring. With that, I give you a short list of goals that you may choose to integrate into your new year's resolutions - if you, too, care to see a more connected culture than what we have right now, something less reliant on digital spaces and more present with local landscapes, I hope that these suggestions serve as a meaningful addition to your work within the collective.

1. Imagine the best case scenario. Every single day.
There is a lot to be afraid of as we ride this unstable wave into 2025. The looming threat of Project 2025 and general political corruption, not to mention being ruled by a government that couldn't care less about wealth disparities, healthcare, climate change, genocide, or any of the other dozens of daily horrors we endure in this world, makes it nearly impossible to envision an outcome where things actually get better, fairer, or easier for the average citizen. At this point, I am incapable of bypassing realities that are so imminent and present for so many for the sake of my own bliss. But that doesn't mean I can't dream.
Though the horrors persist, and though we will have to fight very actively to see real change, I believe that keeping a mental image on the end goal is essential to that fight. Without knowing what we enter into battle for, we cannot lead each other in the most optimal direction. Picturing a near future where healthcare is guaranteed for everyone, or where students and educators no longer fear for their lives at school motivates us to get involved with organizations who are already well on their way to getting these things to happen. It's easy, of course, to side-step this process with the afterthought of "I'll never live to see it happen," or even "Those in power will never let it pass." Maybe. But maybe not.
Imagine the best case scenario. Imagine - I dare you - that there's no way your vision could be false. If you're already working to make it happen, it will happen. Or at the very least, you lived your life seeing to it that one day, beyond your days, it will happen.
This image comes with work, of course. We cannot simply wish for something and do nothing to make it a reality - as is the sentiment with any other new year's resolution. If you want to see an end to weapons funding for overseas wars, for instance, send emails to the people who have the power to end it. Stay up to date with new bills, laws and regulations that relate to the issue. Demand better from your Congress members. Do anything to match the vision. Double your passion with action. Keep doing it - the dreaming and the partaking - every single day.
2. Resist the urge to put others at opposition.
Disclaimer: This does not mean side-stepping your intuition around who is safe to speak to, nor does it mean entertaining conversation with anyone who doesn't believe in fundamental human rights and civility. If you want to discuss a hard topic with a person and they meet you with racism, homophobia, xenophobia, abuse, or any other vitriolic demeanor, they can fuck off. Leave it at that.
Disclaimer 2: This is, by far, the hardest one in the list.
This work is so incredibly difficult because we are so deep-seated in a culture of polarization. It's hard to imagine a time when people on opposing sides of the political spectrum could have an open conversation and come to a civil conclusion. It's harder still to imagine any topic being truly bipartisan. But if we want to put an end to the loneliness epidemic plaguing younger generations, or the myriad of causes for a multi-generational mental health decline, I believe we have to try to understand the root of this disconnect and work to repair it. That can only happen if we welcome all kinds of people into our daily conversations.
Similarly to the first item on this list, I want to start assuming the best from people before I make a decision about them or their beliefs based on their clothing, their accent, or any physical feature. I want to give them time to explain their reasoning. I want to not be so immediately reactive and defensive when they bring in a different point of view. True debate is difficult and uncomfortable, but even more so when we're used to feeding our own echo chambers and, on the other hand, avoiding conflict altogether for the sake of politeness and agreeability. When we authentically engage in this practice, we enter into conversations with others assuming that they also want a good conversation, just as we do. We all want to arrive at a civil conclusion and walk away having learned something.
This unfortunately gets harder, still, with the internet: a place that thrives on othering groups. I saw a reel with this caption yesterday: "What am I doing this NYE? Taking an everything shower with a gua sha, vision boarding, and going to bed at 12:05. Y'all can keep your parties. It's not for me anymore." I use this example to show that even the most arbitrary competitions, like what people choose to do with their New Year's Eve, can create an environment ripe for putting an entire group of people beneath us. Here, can we also recognize the joy in parties? Can we see it instead as a ritual of gathering friends that we want to take into the new year with us? Can we hold space for both options, and not make either of them the lesser alternative? Again, this is a small issue. But I think it's helpful to see just how deep the rabbit hole of pitting against one another can go.
Let's aim to minimize it in 2025, for the sake of reconnecting.
3. Commit to shopping local and second-hand.
No more Amazon. No more subscribing to the latest and greatest, when last season's (or last year's) will do the exact same thing. I've realized after building lengthy Pinterest boards of wardrobe and home design inspiration that most items catching my eye are vintage, even somewhat dated pieces. All the clothing I'm interested in buying can be found on Poshmark, ThredUp, or eBay for half the price it would be listed for as new. Probably 80% of the clothing I've bought at Target in the past five years - which is the affordable store I typically gravitate to - has either worn out or been donated already.
Maybe it's a sign of my age, but I don't want to contribute to this cycle anymore. I want staple pieces that will last. I want to support vendors who are diligent and dedicated to their work - whether it be clothing, home goods, food, or otherwise. I want to buy from people who care. I want my money to stay as close to home as it can.
How does this aid in collectivism? Well, if you get talking to the people who run your local second-hand store, you might find them to be pretty cool people. Perhaps you make a new friend, or, at the very least, you have a new Spotify playlist to check out. You might hear about events or organizations that lead you to become more involved with locals, which benefits both parties. You never know what opportunities or connections are waiting. Aside from the obvious benefit to supporting local business rather than giant corporations, it's a deeper work to engage with that small community in meaningful ways. The payoff may not be immediate, but it will be gratifying and lasting if you commit to it. This is an experience that a microtrend from Shein will never give you.
4. Share your gifts. Share your needs.
A friend recently posted a two-slide infographic to Instagram that really stuck with me - speaking of trends, I wish this one could go viral. The first slide was titled "my offerings," and thought I don't remember the specifics listed, it was along the lines of basic household chores, like cleaning, organization, or even helping move. The next slide was "my requests," which similarly had other chores listed, like ready-to-cook meals or pet-sitting. Though this particular strategy of sharing gifts and needs was very literal, I loved the concept of simply being able to put it out into the world: Hey, if you ever need help with this task, I've got you. Likewise, if you're able to help me with this other task, I would be so grateful.
Imagine, again, a world where we all gladly did this for one another. It probably wouldn't be too difficult for our grandparents to imagine, because many of them lived it. It used to be customary to provide meals to a new mother, or to check in on a neighbor we hadn't seen in a while. This isn't how our culture looks or feels anymore, and though I can relate to and respect a desire for privacy (I certainly don't answer my doorbell if I'm not expecting someone), it'd be shortsighted to say that we aren't clearly missing this sort of practical connection. In July, I wrote a post about collective care more specifically, and I'm reminded of an idea that was shared in that post:
"As each year passes by, more and more people identify with feelings of loneliness, isolation, depression, and anxiety. Young people have fewer 'IRL' friends and are experiencing important social milestones, such as getting a driver's license and going on dates, much later into adolescence than ever before. Humans are inherently social, but with the rapid onset of pseudo-connection via social media, screen time matching or exceeding offline time, individual devices being the main method of teaching and learning in schools (as opposed to raw discussion and group work), and automated delivery systems for shopping, driving, and meals taking center stage in the 21st century, humans find themselves not needing to rely on others in the same ways as before. If we are fortunate enough to live somewhere with the availability of Uber and the affordability of DoorDash, why bother inconveniencing ourselves or someone else with an unnecessary interaction?"
The short answer is because by embracing one another in-person - huge emphasis on in-person - we can create healthier, more resilient, and sustainable communities where everyone thrives, and it seems we need it now more than ever. It's relatively easy to send a friend a "get well soon" text, or to tell them that you're thinking of them, and that's a great start! But what if you showed them? What if you cooked for them? What if you offered them a blanket on the couch and a place to find comfort? There are many ways that we can share our gifts, and of course we don't do this work for the promise of getting something in return, but the idea is that when you have a need, it will be met by the friend who can provide it. That's reciprocity at its finest.
5. Practice radical acceptance.
I keep seeing this sentiment everywhere. It wasn't going to be a part of this list. But the more I consider it, the more I realize how incredibly crucial it is. Yes, it is essential to envision a better collective future so that we may stay on course toward reaching that goal. Yes, practices of self-improvement show a commendable dedication to a personal future. But what about where we are right now?
Right now, as far as I see it, the horrors and beauty alike are inescapable. In less lofty terms, life has never been better, nor has it been scarier. I don't know what the next year, the next election cycle, the next generation is going to look or feel like. I don't know how much of my bodily autonomy will be taken. I don't know if my immigrated friends and students will get to stay here. I don't know that we'll be able to salvage enough of the natural world to survive. No one does, no matter what they promise or threaten. And that's life, my friend.
Because with all of that fear comes the reminder that right now, as far as I can see, I am safe. No, perhaps I am not going to get all of my grading done today. I'm going to the gym later than I'd like. I haven't eaten anything yet. But also, the heat is on, my bike is out back, the gym is open still, and my friends are gathering in the city later to enter into this new mystery together. That's life.
If we cannot accept the way things are right now, we cannot identify what it is that needs either tweaking or massive upheaval. Part of the heavy lifting and hard work in moving from individualism to a collective who truly cares for one another is engaging in somewhat of the opposite from time to time: you can't forget yourself. You need to hear "I love you" from yourself, sung into your vessel. You need to hear it most when things get bleak. When the work feels too hard, when your muscles are fatiguing.
Step back and recognize that you are doing what you can. You are contributing to something greater than yourself, and that is the mightiest step. The path to lasting peace is a long one. We won't be perfect the entire way, nor will anyone else. Say "I love you" anyway. I love you for trying. I love you for being here. I love you for entering the mystery alongside me.
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