Time Capsule: Libra 2021
Whew. It's been a whirlwind lately, friends, I tell ya! But it's so nice to be back, if only for a few minutes, in my favorite cozy writing chair to share what's been going on in the current of life. To come back and talk with you all - I really need it right now. I need something to ground me in the midst of rushing, speeding life. It's all going so fast, it's getting blurry and hard to feel. I miss you, and I miss writing. So let's get back to it.
Libra season is usually my favorite. I love the quick change into autumn; it seems to put everyone in a better mood, perhaps calmer. The world seems to start moving a little slower, quieter. There's more time to enjoy the sweetness of the season. I'm sad, then, to report that this year's Libra hasn't put me in touch with those feelings much at all. In writing this post, I've bitten half my nails down to the nub. The past few days, I've been cranky with my students and loved ones, and I generally just feel like something's off. Maybe I'm still brushing off the retrograde? Maybe it's the full moon? I don't know what it is, and I don't really want to blame it on the celestial, but I do know that it's all the more reason to come back to the blog and write it out. I might even do some on-paper journaling after this to really seal the deal.
Just gotta move through it, as per usual. But I want to take the time to stop and feel what needs to be felt. I hope you can sit here with me for a minute to do the same. 💭
Newness: With the colder, crisper weather comes a funny feeling to head inside and start hunkering down for winter. Though the true cold is still a month or more away, I've been desiring an inside space of warmth and comfort; a bit less concerned with the outdoors these days (though the weather has been amazing here). Our new home is already the home of my dreams in so many ways, but I look forward to adding touches to make it even more so. More wall art, more rugs, more sweaters moved into the closet and tank tops moved out. Every other day, I think, we talk about what we want to work on next. I have loved having a space to make our own. It feels like home in the deepest way I've yet experienced.
Stagnations: The feeling of being carefree almost all the time is one that I cannot hold onto right now. As it happens in adulthood, I feel myself getting swept up in all the work and responsibility. It's manageable, but sometimes it doesn't seem so. Sometimes all I can do after a long day of teaching is come home, fall into bed, and only crawl out after sundown to continue my evening with a heavy, lethargic pace. I hate this feeling. I want my fire back. I'm finding that a weekend dance party isn't enough to reset me anymore. Now, I need full weekends alone. I need escapes into the natural world, preferably alone. I just need to find the time.
I feel I could also use a really good, explosive cry, but I don't know how to make my body do that. Tips are welcome.
Sights: Golden sunlight at all hours of the day, sending delicious warmth through the cracks in the windows. Pastel pumpkins, pink and orange mums, fading brown grass. The foliage hasn't peaked here yet, but I think it will come about drier and more brown this year. I'm really, really liking the color brown. I'm liking the fading, scraggly native flora on the highway medians.
Feelings: Not a lot, other than lethargy. No time.
Sounds: So many poignant songs in this playlist, I'm beyond excited to share it with you. Here are a few of the highlights, though each song has a very special place in the lineup:
Certainty - Big Thief: I really can't believe they did me like this. The day this song came out, I learned the lyrics and sang the harmony (from my dearest favorite Hannah Cohen) along with the rest of my band. When this full album comes out, I will need an extended period of time to recover. They just do something to me.
Teen Heat / Carolina - Kimbra: This combo has been on repeat for the entire Libra season, and I still haven't gotten enough of it. It makes me so happy. It's basically the only surefire energy boost for me these days.
Halley's Comet - Billie Eilish: Okay...I'm a fan now. I put "Male Fantasy" on my Virgo playlist, and here we are again with this little unassuming lullaby on the same album. There was a week I was at the house alone not too long ago, and I literally sung myself to sleep with this. It was a beautiful self-soothing practice that I never expected to come from a Billie song. But I digress.
If you'd like to check out the rest of the playlist, click below! It might be my favorite yet:
Intentions: Feeling "off" is not synonymous with being broken. It's okay. Take the time to sift through your emotions, balancing as best as you can with the outside world. I repeat: it's okay. If you need the alone time, it's okay to ask. If you need the rest, please, by all means, find a way to work it in. Sit in the bathtub in silence. Stretch out on the floor. Thrash around to a sad song when the energy arises. Scream. It's okay.
This new moon following a particularly rough retrograde has been INTENSE, to say the least. Do whatever the fuck you need to do to get feeling good again.
Note to self? Maybe, but a send off to you, too. I hope to be back here more soon; please let me know what you'd like to see more of! Love you so, so, SO much.
- Erin 🤍