Community Center

I remember. The woman who was born from the soil of the forest. The girl who got lost playing amongst the trees in her secret garden. The baby who grew up with her hair blowing in the wind. I am most at home when I am surrounded by nature.  When I look back on my life I want to remember the days spent outside. Nights camped under the stars. Sunsets that made my heart swell. Moments with the soft moss under my toes as I gaze off the peak of a mountain.  I want to be surrounded by the forest. I want to share this love with those who feel the same. I want to sit around a campfire and tell love stories about how we fell in love with being outside. I want to make marshmallows and look at fireflies and be so grateful that I get to experience this beauty and abundance called nature. It feels like an eternity since I’ve gone backpacking, and dedicated my weekends to traversing mountain peaks. I miss the cool water of a glacial lake against my skin. The rush of jumping off a rock cliff and the trust of water bracing my fall. I can’t go another year without dedicating my time to the pursuit of the outdoors. I can’t imagine another 365 days spent in an office, staring at a screen. I want to be in the depths of mother  nature herself. I dream of finding a community that feels the same roaring passion for the outdoors. Friends who get as excited as I do about going out for an impromptu camping trip. A partner who cherishes being outside so much that it doesn’t matter what kind of car we drive or house we live in. What matters is being totally present in the moment and in nature’s embrace. When I look back I want to remember that through my raging passion for this natural world, I was able to inspire and help others fall in love too. Because as I watch natural disasters unfold quicker and quicker as our world heats up and hurricanes destroy and wildfires ravage and floods take away the coastline. I want to be someone who tried. I want to be a voice that attempted to bring attention to how fucking important it is to protect our mother. Nature. Because without our human voices shouting down at the corporate greed that continually fracks, and clear cuts, and rapes our land. There will be no more nature. My heart breaks thinking of the millions of species of plants, and insects, and animals that are disappearing faster and faster and faster. I want to be a voice that says “enough is enough.” I want to be able to tell the story of how I tried.

For years I practiced and taught yoga and energy meditation but slowly gave it up until bit by bit, it was gone. Or was it? There wasn't one thing that made me cut the practice out of my, but it became less and less of a priority. When I tried again it was hard. I avoided it because at the end of the day, when no energy is to be found anywhere, I didn't want to do anything "hard." So in the last 30 days I have been pushing past all the excuses and returned to my mat. Last night as I finished my routine, I reminded myself that the falls are going to happen. The deep bends don't come on demand. The mind doesn't always stop the chatter. It's very humbling to accept limitations in the present while holding on to faith and the notion that with consistency, I'll push past those limitations. As I rolled up my mat, I looked out my window and saw this cloud. It was hanging out in the night sky all by itself and it reminded me to look up from time to time and see what is all around me. I have mobility. I have a home. I have a loving family. I have a job with really amazing people. I have a lot that others don't, even if I can't do a reverse triangle...yet. "Yoga is the practice of celebrating what is. At the end of the hero's journey, he finds that he did not need to go anywhere, that all he sought was inside him all along." ~Rolf Gates